🔗 Share this article

Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone for daily publications, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to find out that an online journalist Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who understood the bathroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and couldn't find his phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college for toilet purposes in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled round the campus like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager following a short conversation within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, saying quietly: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|