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On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments often turn “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “crash”, where he feels sensitive and ashamed about his conduct, leaving him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and was later evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he is skeptical he would have taken the label if he hadn’t already reached that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they harbor a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

While people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what people refer to as the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people conceal it, because of so much stigma associated with the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although a significant majority of people diagnosed with the condition are males, studies suggests this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the covert form, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” explains an individual who posts about her dual diagnosis on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this response – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures as a child. It’s been a process of understanding over the years which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I never had that growing up,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my family members were criticizing me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be linked to childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, John was referred to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for talking therapy via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: It was indicated it is probably going to be early next year.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number